"Requiem"

"I want to damn the soul of that cigarette-smoking son of a bitch."
Originally Aired 5/21/00

For anyone who thought The X-Files' Seventh Season was getting staler than a day-old donut, "Requiem" breathed new life into a series not seen since mid-Fifth Season when we first met the Spender Family and the Faceless Rebels. All of the usual suspects are back, well whatever is left of them as per usual for these season finales, including several who were only featured in the Pilot episode which adds to the excitement. I had watched this years ago not knowing the in's and out's of the series, and while I enjoyed it back then, I had no idea just what I was in store for me once I sat down and pushed play.

The teaser for "Requiem" felt just like a First Season episode, and while much of this Seventh Season has been an attempt to return to the simpler "monster of the week" storytelling of those early years, this is the first time it actually appeared authentic. From a scene lifted straight out of "E.B.E." with a fiery crash in a wooded area, to someone "losing time", it was actually the moment I spotted the puddle of green blood that I knew this episode was going to be something special. While we've seen all of this before, it still felt fresh and exciting. I believe this is my first time viewing the teaser too, which is excellently staged by veteran series director Kim Manners. I could only recall the events of the episode from the time a pair of teenagers are caught in the woods til the ending, so I must've joined it in-progress during the wee hours of the morning on TNT.

Among the familiar faces returning is one who hasn't been seen since the middle of Season 6, which I actually didn't mind her absence since she's mostly useless, the shadowy Marita Covarrubias. This is without a doubt her best appearance on the series since she's lacking both her annoying wispy manner of speaking and her awful helmet hair. Why couldn't Laurie Holden have acted this way from the start? I wonder how she was actually cured of the effects of the black oil, but the bigger question is why is Krycek locked away in a penal colony. One small line of dialogue explains that away, with the Smoking Man stating he had Krycek locked up for selling his secrets, which is typical Chris Carter fashion. While more scenes with Krycek may not be essential to the episode's plot, it would be nice to see more of the rogue agent at work, but all is forgiven this time since Krycek is finally given a chance to get the upperhand. *That* was a long time coming.

With the NCAA Championship music playing in my head, Krycek's "One Shining Moment" is a "passing of the torch" moment as it appears the Cigarette Smoking Man is done in by the man he originally hired to sabotage Mulder's quest for the truth. It's ironic that I don't ever recall hearing the Cigarette Smoking Man referred to as "Cancer Man", though I've read that nickname for years around the internet, and now it's clear the man actually does have cancer. He's vastly deteriorated compared to his earlier appearance in "En Ami" and now he's forced to smoke his cigarettes through a clamp on his throat, which is a great visual among many on The X-Files that I'll never forget. It's interesting to note that the Smoking Man seemed to accept his fate and the loss of his life's work during earlier appearances this season, almost acting eerily remorseful. Now he's suddenly back to his evil ways in a last gasp to resurrect his "project", but his greed got the better of him because he shouldn't have expected Krycek to roll over and be his lap dog again.

Those familiar faces from the Pilot would be Detective Miles, his son Billy who's now an officer too, and Theresa Hoese. It's also a fun way to return to the earlier seasons' trend of having Mulder and Scully work with local law enforcement, and this time it's Billy who's assisting rather than actually being the "X-File" like before. Billy tells Mulder and Scully that a Navy Pilot crashed with an unidentified object, which always seems to be the case with these events. Seems to me that none of these UFO's ever have a smooth landing, so you'd think the aliens would eventually learn to land after all of these years. Aside from that, the excellent visuals of the series continue with teens in the woods that encounter a strange, radioactive force field, which causes one to thrash around in a wild blurred effect, while the other ran away after his flashlight heated up. Mulder and Scully even return to the exact scene of their previous alien encounter when Mulder painted an "X" on the highway. And speaking of alien encounters, Skinner even has one himself when he witness the alien craft taking off, which might be the most important moment he's had on the series; it's at least a close race with him telling off the Smoking Man in "Paper Clip."

Lastly but not leastly, are Mulder and Scully who investigate their last case together, which begins with them as the focus of an investigation. The two are being audited over their outrageous expenses, which is a moment that should have happened years ago! Many of my reviews have always pointed out Mulder's globe-trotting, and even the times where the two of them will criss-cross the United States multiple times in a single episode. "Requiem" is no different as Mulder travels with Scully to Oregon, only to return later along with his boss Walter Skinner. The audit is not exactly essential to the plot of "Requiem" but it's more of a way to reflect back on how Scully's views have shifted over the years. When asked whether she believes in aliens, she simply states, "I've seen things that I cannot deny." The disappointing part is that much of this scene ended up on the cutting floor. If anything, I'd rather have lost the second scene with Mulder and the auditor and kept Scully's entire scene intact. I feel that's more essential to the overall storyline of Scully continuing on without Mulder in the next season. It also seems like no episode is safe from unintentional comedy because I laughed when Mulder ordered the kid to fetch Scully some water; where's he supposed to get that in the middle of the forest? Oh, Chris.

With all of the returning faces, I felt like the Smoking Man resembled the Emperor from Star Wars though in the past many have referred to him as the "Darth Vader of the series." Here he seems more like the Emperor trying to pull the strings and failing before Vader tossed him down the air shaft, much like Krycek dumped him down a flight of stairs. In "Requiem" every character was used effectively, unlike last year's finale where a few of the familiar faces only appeared briefly. I'd almost say it's a home run episode if it weren't for the final two words. But that said, bring on Season Eight anyways! This fan's energy is renewed.

As usual, I'll conclude with my Top 5 episodes from Season 7, and oddly enough I feel like this is the first season where the mythology episodes were stronger as a whole than the standalones.

My Top Five Of Season 7
1. "En Ami"
2. "Je Souhaite"
3. "Closure"
4. "Requiem"
5.  "Orison"

Honorable Mention: "The Sixth Extinction Part II"

"Je Souhaite"

"Your wish is breath-taking in its originality."
Originally Aired 5/14/00

There are two distinct episodes I can pinpoint as being watershed moments in my fandom of The X-Files. The first was in 2002 during Senior year of high school when my English class watched "The Host" and it set me on a course to become a fan, though it was a very slow progression. The second moment was when I watched this episode one morning on TNT in May of 2007. I had seen a handful of episodes over the previous five years, it just wasn't until I saw this episode that I was finally "hooked" enough to watch the following episode, which spilled over into Season 8, followed by another batch of episodes on TNT. I needed more.

At the time I knew nothing of Vince Gilligan,  nor the significance of this point in the series, I only knew that the 44 minutes of "Je Souhaite" that I had watched were supremely entertaining. The investigation surrounding a genie seemed really hokey since several other tv series have relied on the "wishes gone bad" gimmick before but none that I've watched have pulled it off as effectively as The X-Files. That remains true today as well. Given what I know now about Vince Gilligan, it's not necessarily about The X-Files doing a "genie" story, instead it's just a creative way to twist their "reluctant villain" storytelling device. The genie isn't bad, it's just that the people that are awarded their three wishes are too careless or not specific enough. Vince Gilligan wasn't the first to feature that type of villain, though he loved finding new ways to keep it fresh and interesting, from a man that consumes cancer to another character that had an appetite for brain matter.

This episode's guest stars are a hoot, with Will Sasso and Kevin Weisman co-starring as dim-witted brothers. Vince also seems to have a knack for telling stories about lower class yokels, like Eddie Van Blundht in "Small Potatoes" and Patrick Crump in "Drive." The pop culture references are also great, with naturally the theme of I Dream Of Genie being referenced, but also Mulder and Scully peering around a corner like The Three Stooges, and a sly reference to Looney Tunes, when Anson attempts to kill himself by setting a fire with a match and gas from the oven. At least that's what it reminded me of, when Bugs Bunny was trying to hide gangsters from the police in an oven. Not only does Vince turn in a great comedic script, he also stepped behind the camera for the first time, and proceeded to blow something up. He really made a "bang" with his first directing assignment.

The significance of "Je Souhaite" that I wasn't aware of during my first viewing in 2007 is that this episode marked the end of an era- the last "standalone" episode for Mulder and Scully. I feel like that's why Vince made this decidedly sweeter and more whimsical than his recent entries and allowed not only Mulder and Scully, but David and Gillian, to have more fun than usual. Although Mulder's overhead projector is absent, he does present the case to Scully in their office, and the episode even ends with a rare "intimate" moment in Mulder's apartment as they share a beer and watch a movie; how cute. Walter Skinner gets a quick appearance too, with all of this proving that Vince Gilligan is as much of a fan of The X-Files as we are. When I watched this years ago it had ranked in my top ten among the episodes that I had seen, but I reset that list when I decided to watch this series in order from the beginning. While it's just shy of my "new" Top Ten, its hands-down the best standalone episode of Season 7 and my favorite standalone episode since last year's "Dreamland II." Thank you Vince.

"Fight Club"

"I guess that's why they put the 'I' in the F.B.I."
Originally Aired 5/7/00

And finally, after seven long years, it's come to this. Yet, finally reaching the end of the line shouldn't feel this anti-climactic. I've long known that "Fight Club" would be my final "new" episode and I've wished there was a better episode to go out on than this one. I knew that Kathy Griffin would be in this and instantly wanted to hate this episode since I find her to be just utterly irritating. I always try to find something positive with each episode, but knew this episode would really put that sentiment to the test since nearly everything I've read about this episode on the internet is that it's nothing short of a mess. In this case, the internet was right; no hyperbole.

It actually got off to an interesting start though with wonderful choreography of bicycle riders in unison. The directing work on the entire teaser is fantastic, which ended with a knock down-drag out brawl between the bicycle riders. Another brawl occured after the opening credits between two FBI agent dopple-gangers that appear to resemble Mulder and Scully and even sound like them, when in actuality they're played by David and Gillian's stand-ins. The highlight of all of the brawling, and possibly even the entire episode, was when the female agent gets in her car to drive off and the male agent grabs onto the side of her car and punches her as she drove off. I must've missed that the first time around and it made me giggle when I finally noticed it during my second time through.

Following the brawing, Mulder and Scully have a great scene between the two of them in the office that furthers their relationship beyond just a partnership, again showing how far their relationship has progressed over these 20-some episodes this year. Mulder and Scully theorize on possible reasons behind this week's investigation, even mentioning that their two look-alikes were also veteran FBI agents of a seven year partnership... *wink wink*, but Scully mentioning a "corporeal likeness that appears unbidden from the spirit world that the sight of which presages one's own death" sounds a lot like Season 4's "Elegy."  She only needed to go back a little to the previous year because this episode feels an awful lot like Season 3's "Syzygy." That's one I didn't appreciate the first time through either but liked it more with each rewatch, although I doubt this will be the case with "Fight Club."

As for that actual X-Files investigation, it just seems stupid to me and makes Mulder and Scully seem stupid as well. There's a red-headed lady named Betty and another named Lulu that appear to be identical twins and keep following each other from town to town, each working odds jobs like wild animal handler and Mongolian grill chef. Now the brawling between the bicyclists occurred outside of Lulu's house, and this FBI brawl happened outside of Betty's, yet Mulder and Scully only track down Betty until mid-way through the episode. Why not look into why the first brawl happened at Lulu's? Then when they finally do find Lulu and their father, the boyfriend the two are "sharing" winds up having a twin of his own. I guess there's probably a reason for all of this- TV shows always make wild leaps of coincidence for dramatic effect and The X-Files uses that to the fullest week after week, but I still just couldn't bring myself to care about the investigation. Especially after Mulder was sucked into a manhole that was clearing blowing out steam. At least the "father" of Lulu and Betty was hilarious...

The most interesting factor about this whole episode is that while I thought I was finally coming to the end of the road with new episodes this year, FOX announced that they're filming 6 new episodes for a mini-series to air in 2016. That's a pretty interesting twist of fate that couldn't have worked out better if I had planned it.

Mulder's got a grill like Lil Wayne.

"Hollywood A.D."

"You see? It's just not true that you can't get good science at Catholic school. It's a lie."
Originally Aired 4/30/00

After 7 long years it finally happened... I watched an episode early! I'd done so good with sticking to air dates but I accidentally jumped the gun with "Hollywood A.D." and watched it a week early. I've been really off for much of this season as it is, since I put it on hold in February to watch "X-Cops" with my grandma, causing me to fall behind by two or three episodes. I did it again with "First Person Shooter" so I could watch that action-packed episode with a friend of mine. So I assumed I was back on track, only to realize after I watched it that my beloved X-Files actually took a week off. But hey, I lasted this long without a slip up, I think that says a lot to my dedication. I only goofed while I was house-sitting for my aunt, so I might even ignore that little mistake since I took on extra tasks like feeding her dog that distracted me.

Now that I'm allowed to watch it for real, I've watched "Hollywood A.D" several times this week in an attempt to fully form my thoughts on it but I still feel it's a mixed bag. While I enjoy the witty dialogue from Mulder, Scully, and their "hologram" sidekick Wayne Federman, I'm still not sold on the actual X-File. There's a religious artifact that can raise the dead, yet I'm lost with what happened between a cardinal of the church and some guy who had forged religious documents. I suppose all of that is meaningless anyway because this episode is really just an excuse to laugh and poke fun at the series, which it does with flying colors. I loved the back and forth one liners, which the series has been lacking since the days of Darin Morgan's episodes. Sure, I've laughed at many episodes since then, but nothing has felt as fresh and as witty as "Hollywood A.D."

During a meeting with A.D. Skinner, Mulder and Scully are informed they're going to be shadowed on their latest investigation by a movie producer, and friend of his named Wayne Federman, which provided the most laughs for me. I loved his description of Mulder: "Jehovah's Witness meets Harrison Ford's Witness". There are other funny quips throughout his scenes like, "St. Peter's bathrobe", "God's Refrigerator", and the episode also references a fan nickname for Walter Skinner which is the "Skin Man." David Duchovny showed his ability to craft another original story for his second episode this season (he shared a co-writer credit with Chris Carter on "The Sixth Extinction II"), which is also quite different from his Season 6 installment, "The Unnatural." While these 3 are completely different stories, I did notice that while his earlier Season 7 entry used religious allegory, this episode pokes fun at religion.

"Hollywood A.D." also pokes fun at the series itself by featuring a movie about The X-Files, well, an amalgamation loosely based on The X-Files, starring Tea Leoni as Scully and Garry Shandling as Mulder. Much of this is actually based on real life events, as Duchovny's wife is Tea Leoni and David Duchovny made guest appearances on Shandling's cable series, The Larry Sanders Show. During David's appearance on that series his amalgamation loosely based on himself had a crush on Larry Sanders, so now that's reversed when Scully jokes that Shandling has a crush on Mulder. While many viewers might not be aware of that in-joke, the movie-within-a-tv series sequences still offer plenty of laughs, like the Cigarette Smoking Pontiff and eccentric actors that only eat "tofurkey."

The real highlights of this hour are actually the one-on-one moments between Mulder and Scully when they discuss their own lives and religion, showing that while David was growing disillusioned with continuing to play a TV character, he still had a grasp on who the character is and what makes him tick; I assume even more than the man who created Mulder. While Carter did create Mulder, it's Duchovny who has brought him to life for over 150 episodes, so I think he should know the man better. David even added a reference to Mulder's porn collection, which I think was nearly forgotten by this point in the series' run. While David may have provided the funniest script of the year, I believe my favorite of these episodes written by cast members remains William B. Davis' contribution, "En Ami." Although nothing against "Hollywood A.D." since I haven't laughed like this all season long. As this season winds down, I only have one new episode left to go, which is next week's "Fight Club."

"Brand X"

"That sounds like a Darryl Weaver problem to me."
Originally Aired 4/16/00

While Season 7 might be the most "uneven" season in several years, the writers did manage to create several interesting villains, with more of a focus on monsters. Those monsters would actually be "human" monsters like Rob Roberts in "Hungry", Orell Peattie in "Theef", and now Tobin Bell as Darryl Weaver in this episode, "Brand X." That particular brand is a brand of cigarette, created by the Morley Tobacco Company, but without an actual appearance by the Cigarette Smoking Man; maybe his choice in brand is why he has developed cancer. This deadly cigarette as a "monster of the week" villain seems timely because if I recall correctly, the early 2000's was full of those 'Truth' PSA's about the dangers of smoking. I even remember one with a board room of executives that were brain-storming ideas, which reminds me of the scene where Mulder and Skinner confront the Morley company.

Speaking of A.D. Skinner, he also plays a larger role in this week's episode, continuing the trend of removing Skinner from behind his desk. In Season 3 he was the "X-File", in Season 4 he was being black-mailed by the Cigarette Smoking Man, and then again in Season 6 he was being manipulated through a device by Krycek. Rather than being a puppet for the Syndicate, this episode puts Skinner in the thick of an investigation for once. Mulder and Scully are mostly sidelined as Mulder comes down with a bad "bug" and Scully gets another interesting autopsy scene. I think Skinner was given much of the spotlight as David and Gillian were tied up with their own directing assignments, with Gillian's airing the week before and David's following "Brand X." I think using Skinner was a much more effective way to work around the lack of their stars than what happened with "Chimera" and "all things." When you have one without the other it seems to create an imbalance, but leaving both out seems to usually produce better results for whatever reason- like the times when the Gunmen had their own episodes and also the Cigarette Smoking Man's episode, too.

The episode was about deadly cigarettes and they took it literally and created many smoke-filled scenes. "Brand X" opened on smoke billowing out of a chimney, it's villain emerged from a fog and served as an awesome visual introduction for the character, and then there's the deadly smoke from the villain himself, Darryl Weaver. The special effects of the beetles and the make-up used for the victims of Darryl's smoke were great visual effects too. I think that while "Theef" earned the show an Emmy for special make-up effects, it should've went to "Brand X."

This bring us to the villain of "Brand X", "Mr. E. Pluribus", Darryl Weaver. He could almost be the true son of the Smoking Man as he sits alone at night in his apartment watching old war movies, he smokes like a chimney while delivering awesome one-liners ("I got all the coffin nails I can suck down"), and both seem to be delusional with the belief that they're a "hero." The Smoking Man felt the weight of the world was on his shoulders because he protected the secrets of an alien conspiracy, while Darryl Weaver seems to think he'll play a pivotal role in science since he's the cure for cancer. While the Smoking Man was in charge of experiments, Darryl actually is the victim of experimenting.

I really enjoyed Tobin Bell as Darryl Weaver as the villain of the week, Skinner had more screen time in an episode than usual, and a thrilling investigation make "Brand X" one of the better episodes of the Seventh Season. That's all the more surprising because it was the creation of a pair of a newbie X-Files writers, Steven Maeda and Greg Walker. Both will also stick around for a few interesting episodes in the Eighth Season which I'm excited to rewatch and see if they can hold up to my original feelings from eight years ago.

Toodles.

"all things"

"And I'm not wearing any pants right now."
Originally Aired 4/9/00

I read a brief quote from Vince Gilligan where he said they took the most risks during their seventh season, or something to that effect. I initially wrote it off as the same statement a musician makes when the current album being released is their best work, and also maybe he took personal risks with his COPS "crossover" episode. However, after watching "all things", I've realized his statement is true. While every season of the series up to this point has taken risks, like series star David Duchovny writing and directing an episode in the sixth season and director Bob Goodwin writing "Demons" in the fourth season, this year has taken the most collectively. In addition to the COPS episode, David Duchovny wrote and directed another episode, William B. Davis wrote "En Ami", Vince Gilligan also directed his first episode, the series crossed over with Millennium and included Lance Henriksen's "Frank Black" character, the Samantha Mulder story was concluded, and now Gillian Anderson has an episode in which she both wrote and directed.

I really wanted to like "all things" since I liked "The Field Where I Died" which was also a controversial episode, but I'm still struggling to fully express if I liked it or not. I appreciate the effort from Gillian and the fact that the show attempted many different styles of storytelling, so chance encounters and "what if's" sounded like an interesting concept to explore. I've always wondered, probably too much wondering, if things I had done would be different if I'd only taken another action instead. Although if I had, it would've resulted in a different 'Andy' who is currently writing this review. Perhaps I may not have even become an X-Files fan in the first place.

The 'holistic' healing is a little weird though, with a lady telling Scully that she recovered from cancer when she cleared her mind. That's also following something else I failed to mention in my review for "En Ami", that a religious family believed God would cure their son only if it was his will, so they shunned medical treatment. That reminded me of the present day scenario with families opting to not vaccinate their children. I think your mental health does affect your physical health, such as when people worry themselves to a sickened state, but I don't think it works backwards with diseases going into remission when you clear your mind. I think maybe this woman had a chance encounter with the Smoking Man's cure for all diseases from a few episodes back. She also said accidents happen when we're not paying attention- yeah, it's called not watching the road, lady.

The episode failed to grab me the first time through, in fact it's the first time I've fallen asleep multiple times since Season 4's "Kaddish." Perhaps I was hypnotized by all of the water droplets, pencil tappings, and ticking noises throughout the episode. There really didn't seem to be much of an "X-File" to be investigated, although several last season weren't traditional cases either. It also seemed odd that Scully had another 'mid-life crisis' moment of not wanting investigate with Mulder... didn't she learn from what happened the last time when she hooked up with that guy with a talking tattoo?? Well this time it's a chance encounter with a man she loved before joining the FBI and The X-Files, a doctor from her time in medical school. It's already been established she liked older men, when it was revealed she had a relationship with her instructor at the FBI in the first season. Maybe it's not the fact that Scully feels she's longing for a past relationship that didn't work out and wondering how things would be if she hadn't joined the FBI, it's the line where she says, "I want everything I should want at this time in my life." I guess it must be that she 'sexed' Mulder, and is actually having doubts....and BOOM! I'm a shipper. I guess I really am a 'shipper' after all since I'm wondering about her feelings for Mulder and when she came to that realization. 'Shipper' has always been a dirty word for me since many fans seem to take their enjoyment for the Mulder-Scully relationship to the extreme. I just like the fact that they have something deeper than just a friendship, but an understanding and an admiration for each other. It's not just the act of sex, but this relationship seems finally confirmed within this episode. She now seems to be a believer in other possibilities, and I think that led to her choice to to stay with Mulder and not continue with the doctor. Perhaps this is also foreshadowing her pregnancy as well. Season 7 must be the year of subtlety.

Just like last week's episode, the "B" plot of the story is weak, as Mulder is off investigating crop circles in England. Really? Crop circles? I think aliens have better things to do than burn images into fields, like burning faces with their cattle prods. Although I do like the clever hat that Mulder is wearing, which reads "Stonehenge Rocks", but I highly doubt he'd ever wear an ugly tan coat like that. Ugh... now I really am a "shipper."

"Chimera"

"You put the service back in the 'protect and serve'."
Originally Aired 4/2/00

This is like 'X-Files meets Desperate Housewives', if only this series was around just a couple seasons longer; maybe then it might have worked as a creepy parody of that ABC drama. Instead I'm trying to view it without my knowledge of "Chimera" being written as an excuse to leave Scully out of the main investigation because Gillian Anderson was tied up behind the scenes with her own episode. Mulder leaving Scully behind on a stake-out leads to a humorous moment or two when they're speaking over the phone, much like "Chinga" was before it, though the reason for even having the stake-out is a little flimsy.

Mulder off on his own to investigate a disappearance in another idyllic town also seems like going to the well again since he was thrust into that life in "Dreamland" and then posed as a married couple in "Arcadia", but "Chimera" adds a different and darker twist. Mulder is actually rooming with a sheriff and his wife as he investigates a murder but finds himself in the midst of a love triangle. It also goes back to the old formula from past seasons when Mulder was working with local law enforcement, twisting it so that now that officer becomes a possible suspect. The domestic life that isn't what it seems, combined with the disappearance of a wife, also reminded me a little of last year's movie Gone Girl. "Chimera" doesn't have the same twists and turns as that story but I got the same vibe. Maybe that's what the movie was lacking- a good supernatural monster.

It seems to me like whenever the X-Files team had a script that didn't quite "click", they didn't try a new idea, they just kept hammering away on the first idea til they got something that might work. That strategy isn't always sound and I think this episode suffered a little. I liked the murder mystery and the revelation of "whodunit?" but I don't get a sense that any of the characters really clicked. Maybe they weren't supposed to due to all of the affairs or I'm missing a cut scene or two, possibly. For what it's worth, in a season of "back to basics" X-Files tales, this is one that is truly back to the good old days and isn't the worst that I've seen this season (or will see.) Although, "it's not the worst" isn't much praise..

"En Ami"

"Wow. I'm learning a whole other side to you. You're not just a cold-blooded killer. You're a pop psychologist as well."
Originally Aired 3/19/00

Finally, the Cigarette Smoking Man is back! These last few seasons have been light on Ol' Smokey, limiting his scenes to only the big event, two-part installments of the on-going conspiracy since Season 5, save for a fantasy sequence as a Nazi in Season 6's "Triangle." Not only is the character back for an episode, but the actor portraying him- William B. Davis, also wrote the script. His scenes in the episode are paired with Agent Scully and it's interesting to see those two interact with each other. This is the man responsible for her cancer so it's only fitting they finally have a face-to-face "confrontation." I can't recall a time where they ever had any scenes together except for those early moments when the Cigarette Smoking Man would lean against a filing cabinet and smoke. I believe she's met every other Syndicate baddie, both the Well-Manicured Man and the 'lead' Elder in Season 3, and Deep Throat long before them.

Just like the ending to "Theef", this is one I saw in the early morning hours on TNT, so I must've watched "En Ami" after that one ended. Either way, I saw this long before I began watching the series in order so my only knowledge of the series' most important villain was only through the "Duane Barry"/"Ascension" two-part story. After seeing the "how" and "why" of the entire cancer storyline with Scully unfold over the years, this episode has a bigger impact than it would've back in 2007. I've read online that some say this episode is out of character for Scully but my opinion differs. This is totally in-line with Dana Scully- why would she ignore a news report of a child who was miraculously cured of cancer? Especially when the boy also has a similar scar on the back of his neck and even the Smoking Man's mention of a chip cannot be ignored. The Smoking Man has always believed his actions have always been for a just cause, and he's viewed himself as a hero, so I chuckled when he told Scully he's doing God's work. Scully is also far from out of character since she realized she might be in the middle of another game of the Smoking Man, whether he actually is doing "God's work" or not, so she wore a wire and attempted to mail cassette tapes back to Mulder for evidence. She'd be a fool to not try to protect herself, because after all, this is a man who murdered his own son Jeffrey. ...or am I the only one who cared about Agent Spender?

It's also neat to see the Smoking Man's office...if it really is his office. In my head I called the building, "Syndicate Central", since we've never seen much other than that smoke-filled office in New York where the Elders would meet to discuss catastrophes that threatened their secrets, like alien rebels and black oil. There has to be some kind of behind the scenes work like that, complete with offices and secretaries, since they did all those experiments with clones and vaccines. Might have been a fun reference to the past if the building was labeled under the Roush company banner.

Not only was it interesting to see a new wrinkle to the series with Scully and the Smoking Man, but they also brought back the grey-haired "Man in Black" from the Fight The Future movie as the Smoking Man's shadowy assistant, and even the Lone Gunmen get a fun appearance when they're each disguised as a different member of the trio. Although this is also a bitter sweet episode because it's the last to be directed by long-time series director Rob Bowman, who's been with the show since late in Season One and also directed the movie, too.

As I'm writing this, I did realize I've been mistaken about any interaction between the Smoking Man and Scully, since it was just a mere four episodes ago when he appeared in her apartment to tell her of his involvement in the abduction of Samantha Mulder. I also said that scene was foreshadowing his larger role in this episode, which this episode and even Season 7 as whole seem to be slowly working towards Scully's character evolving into a "believer." I recalled Scully and Smoking Man interacting but now I can't remember a time when the Gunmen met Skinner. After 7 years of reviews I should've learned to take better notes on these matters. I do have to say that even though I enjoyed this one for what it was in 2007 as a fun goose-chase for a cure for cancer, I now have to say it's the best episode of not just Season 7, but since "The Unnatural." I guess I truly have transformed my own character beliefs, just like Dana Scully, as I'm now a firm believer in the character episodes than the "monster of the week" episodes.

"Theef"

"You do keep me guessing."
Originally Aired 3/12/00

Months ago a friend and I met at a theater to witness an amazingly horrible horror movie called Annabelle. I'm always skeptical of these modern horror movies because haunted objects/possessed people are done to "death", though this one was surprisingly high on unintentional comedy as we ended up laughing constantly throughout the last third of the movie. It all started with a comment about having "black juju", and I'm using that to segue to this week's episode "Theef", which is centered on juju of the bad variety. I was going to say voodoo, but Mulder tells us that it's "hex craft", which is basically due to a doctor's bad juju.

While watching "Theef", it dawned on me that even though this is a 'back to basics' horror story, it still follows the trend of recent seasons. We always seem to follow the villain more than our heroes now, while the early seasons were more about Mulder and Scully uncovering the truth the same as the viewers do and also butting heads with local law enforcement along the way. "Theef" gives ample screen time to it's "villain", Billy Drago as 'Oral Peattie.' I actually spent a good chunk of the episode distracted by a few plotholes, such as how did Peattie get from the backwoods of the Appalachians all the way to sunny California, and also how he was able to track down the Wieder family if he can barely operate a microwave. I guess giving as much screen time to the villain as they have been doing, these standalones live or die by how effective the villain is, and Billy Drago eventually won me over. I really don't care how he trekked across the country because it actually adds to his 'creep factor'. Basically everything from the 'death by microwave' scene to the moment 'Executive Producer Chris Carter' appeared on the screen is "full of win", as kids on the internet would say.

I also feel like my attention span and memory is becoming as awful as the internet because I seem to forget how much I liked the previous episode before the current one has even ended. I was ready to claim this as the best standalone of Season 7, just like the internet jumps from 'meme' to 'meme', but I remembered a few of the earlier episodes such as "Orison" and "Hungry." Both of those were heavier on darker plots and horror elements than Season 6's lighter entries and are not to be easily dismissed. That's also what I enjoyed about "Theef" were it's horror movie elements, like borrowing a corpse in bedroom resembled Norman's mother in Psycho, and Peattie carrying a severed head is much like Jason's mother in Friday the 13th Part 2. Speaking of X-Files' former episode staples like local law enforcement, the early seasons also seemed to have a fondness for exhuming bodies. I've never seen so many exhumed bodies in all my hours of TV watching than I have with The X-Files. I think this is the first exhumation scene since the third season... but I'm not counting.

Even though I started 2007 with using a gift card to purchase discounted DVD sets of The X-Files' Seasons One and Two following a few reruns on the Sci Fi Channel the previous year, I believe my 'fandom' fully kicked off in the spring when I happened to catch a few reruns during the early morning hours on TNT. They were actually in Season 7 when I joined their cycle of episodes and I caught the closing moments of this episode. I did eventually see the full episode but it didn't strike me as anything special. Viewing it again several years later and given it's placement in the series, the moments with Scully and Mulder actually lift the episode above the average. While the writers/producers weren't sure of The X-Files' fate beyond Season 7, this episode (combined with "The Sixth Extinction" and "The Goldberg Variation") seems to hint at Scully becoming a believer.

Microwave popcorn will never be the same again!

"First Person Shooter"

"He's getting his 'ya-ya's' out."
Originally Aired 2/27/00

Just like the previous episode, "X-COPS", I held off on watching it until I could watch it with another person. There was greater significance for "X-COPS", but a good friend of mine and I share a love for action movies, so I had a feeling this would be up our alley since it's full of effects, guns, and lots of cheese. The cheese factor was really high this episode as evidenced by the dialogue, with lines like, "Scully's in the zone!"

If I wasn't aware that this episode was written by William Gibson and Tom Maddux, who also wrote Season 5's "Killswitch", then I'd have argued that this was the work of Chris Carter; he is credited as the episode's director. It feels like a companion piece to his canceled series Harsh Realm, which happened to air concurrently with this season of The X-Files, that is until it's early cancellation. Much of this episode takes place within a highly realistic virtual reality video game, similar to Harsh Realm's setting of military-simulated virtual reality. In Harsh Realm, a human character played by Terry O'Quinn hi-jacked the video game from within, while in "First Person Shooter" the villain is actually a character that has taken control of the game. Even the level in the video game in "First Person Shooter" resembles a setpiece from the series Harsh Realm.

As I stated before, this episode was another 'computer-gone-bad' episode from William Gibson and Tom Maddux, and part-way through I was actually wishing that I'd rather be watching their earlier episode, "Killswitch." I didn't like it because it felt very dated, mostly because of the 'Invisi-Goth' character, who was a very bad stereotype of what a hacker/loner/computer chick would be. This time around, it's very dated because of it's cornball dialogue. It might not be as bad if the writers didn't feel the need to give everyone lines that felt ripped off from the Ninja Turtles and Spicolli from Fast Times At Ridgemont High; "radical!" The saving grace is actually David Duchovny, with his sunglasses that he wore throughout his time within the video game. I don't know why it made me laugh but it did. An appearance from the Lone Gunmen is always appreciated, especially since this season has been very light on appearances from the trio. In fact, this might even be their first appearance so far this year.

I could very well be wrong about this episode, though. If it was made as a parody of action movies and video games, maybe it's ahead of it's time since this is far before Call of Duty and other console-based shooters became hugely popular, much like Vince Gilligan's "X-COPS" seemed ahead of the 'found footage' trend. All I can recall from this era were arcade games you had to feed quarters into at the mall, Doom for computers, and games like Duke Nukem on Playstation. This episode even has the busty babe which is an action movie staple, also a slow-motion walking scene with the heroes (maybe it needed doves like in a John Woo movie), and a scene spoofing Basic Instinct, so it possibly is more farce than anything to be taken seriously. I still feel like the 'computer-gone-bad' is a well they've hit too often, following "Ghost In The Machine" and "Killswitch."

The odd thing about Season 7 is that it seems to have more high points with it's mythology arc than it's standalones, and I'm not sure why that is, since the mythology is actually not as compelling as it was a year ago. I guess they can only do so much with alien rebels and bounty hunters, because just like I stated during the fourth season, I like the way Carter turned inward for his stories and centering on the characters themselves than the fantastic elements. The two-part installment of "Sein Und Zeit" and "Closure" would be an early favorite for me if I were to rank the season at this point, although a few "new" episodes still remain. Those would be "Chimera", "allthings", "Hollywood A.D.", and "Fight Club", though I caught about ten minutes from both "Chimera" and "Hollywood A.D." years ago on the SyFy Channel when I was still a new fan. Those 4 remaining are actually the final four I have left of the entire series as I've previously watched all of 8 and 9.

"X-COPS"

"I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said [Bleep]."
Originally Aired 2/20/00

Possibly the most hype I've ever placed on an X-Files episode was given to this Vince Gilligan-penned episode, "X-COPS." It already seemed like the most daring episode the series ever attempted, then combined with it being one that my grandma always seemed to recall when I'd mention X-Files in our conversations. I always watch the series by myself, for the most part, but for this one I'd made it a goal that I wanted to watch this episode with her when it came time to view it. Waiting six years placed a lot of hype on it and created an even greater aura around it than most of my "unseen" episodes. I even waited an extra weekend just to watch it with her, putting last week's "First Person Shooter" on hold, although I usually fall behind around this time of year as it is.

While I used "daring" to describe this episode, I don't feel I can quite use "love" or other adjectives like that to describe "X-COPS" yet. I do understand and appreciate the effort on the part of Vince Gilligan and the entire X-Files crew, even the FOX Network too, for going the extra mile to make it feel like an authentic episode of COPS. While The X-Files theme is present, the typical score from Mark Snow is not; the time stamps are missing and replaced with COPS graphics; the episode began with a disclaimer and the COPS intro; but the best part is that a few faces are blurred throughout the episode. While this episode was being produced on the heels of The Blair With Project, I don't think they (or anyone else for that matter) realized that the found footage gimmick would eventually take off like it did, from movies like Cloverfield and Chronicle to episodes of television series like Supernatural. Now it's a trope that nearly every television series has borrowed from, so it's amazing to think The X-Files was ahead of the pack by almost a decade, and they even used it in the most creative way- through a "crossover" episode.

There's a lot more to love in this episode too, mostly on the part of Gillian Anderson. I love how Scully backs away from the camera crew, hiding behind the door of an ambulance while Mulder questions a deputy, asking if what he saw was a werewolf. I initially thought Scully was hiding because she didn't want to be seen on camera, but instead we find out it's she doesn't want this to embarrass the FBI. Mulder is loving it, since he might actually have proof on video, and his remark about not being on live TV is another highlight. Actually, the best characters in the episode would be an homosexual African American couple- Steve and Edy. I don't know if those two are legit actors or just extras they found on the street. It reminded me of Homicide Life On The Street, where the scenes of the detectives questioning witnesses feels realistic, like they're actually filming real residents rather than extras. Edy is the typical "flamboyant" homosexual, as he wants to look his best on camera after putting on a headband, then starts singing show tunes after asking when he'll get his own TV show.

Another interesting wrinkle to this episode is that while previous seasons used a pattern of having Mulder and Scully encounter hesitant law enforcement officers that didn't want them around, "X-COPS" flips that on it's head. Here, they're welcomed into the investigation and seem to be leading the charge in the search for an "invisible fear entity", though there is still a skeptical deputy, whose "f bomb" is the best moment in the episode. Out of all of the episodes filmed for the series, some 200 episodes, this appears to be the one that was the most fun to film. I believe there was even episode of Kolchak that had an invisible monster too, but I can't recall any details, but I just wanted to add that to the list of similarities between the two series.

Despite appreciating the effort from all parties involved (The X-Files, FOX, and COPS), I just don't love this episode as much as I wanted to. It looks more fun than it actually is, I suppose, and I felt the same way about Shaun of the Dead, too. I really enjoyed the brilliance of a romantic comedy-zombie mash-up but it never brought a belly laugh out of me, only mild chuckles. Only time will tell for X-Files though, because some of my favorites would eventually win me over instead of hooking me instantly. ("One Breath", for example.) The number of "new" episodes also continues to dwindle, as I'm down to "First Person Shooter", "Chimera", "Hollywood A.D.", "all things", and "Fight Club." What was once upwards of 100 is now enough to count on one hand.

"Closure"

"I have this powerful feeling and I can't explain it, but that this is the end of the road and I've been brought here to learn the truth."
Originally Aired 2/13/00

...I liked it, I truly do. After so many years of stories and "what if's", and even reading so much discussion on the internet of this episode's outcome, it seemed like it would be an impossible feat to please the majority of X-Files fans. Heck, I'm even in the camp that wished "Redux II" would be true and that perhaps Samantha had some kind of "Stockholm Syndrome" from living with the Smoking Man following her abduction as a child. It's almost like the TV series Lost, where there was just so much mystery building for 6 seasons that it toppled like a house of cards, leaving many unsatisfied when that series' finale aired in 2010 (myself included.) One friend thought for sure the island was actually a submerged space ship with an island on top and that's how it was able to move across the ocean and never appeared on any maps. Another friend had a theory that everyone was dead following the plane crash and the island was really Purgatory; he was right in a sense that the final season's alternate timeline was indeed Purgatory. My theory that I wanted to see occur was that another plane would crash and the series' events repeats itself in a cycle, given that two ancient characters on the island said it would happen again. I'm sure many other X-Files fans had their own theories too over seven seasons of television.

Like many installments on the series' mythology, Mulder and Scully have separate investigations, and in this instance Scully returns to Washington D.C., in what seemed like a reversal of a prior episode "Orison" when Mulder said the case was over. This time, she had another series villain waiting for her in her apartment, the ultimate villain in fact, the Cigarette Smoking Man. However this time he wasn't a villain, and that's what I enjoyed most of "Closure." He informs Scully that Samatha is in fact dead, and when she questions why, he says that he wanted to give Mulder hope. Everyone needs hope, which is what some find in a belief in God and religion, and Mulder is just like everyone else with a need to believe. The Cigarette Smoking Man even made mention in a previous episode that his belief is his religion. If the Cigarette Smoking Man is indeed Mulder's father, then it's unfortunate that he loved him more than Jeffrey- he gave Mulder hope but then shot his other son. Not so much of a good guy after all.

Another interesting aspect of this episode is the inclusion of the character of Harold Piller, a police psychic, played by Anthony Heald. Like Mulder, he's struggling with the disappearance of his son, and both loses are what has driven each character. At first he appears as another in a long line of reluctant psychics, like Season 3's Clyde Bruckman, and he even states maybe he was given his gift to help others cope with their loss. Instead, I've realized he serves a different purpose upon conclusion of this episode- that he is in fact the opposite of Mulder. He represents the old Mulder we're used to. Season One's "Deep Throat" had Mulder being led to an air force base only to return after dark. This time, it's Harold who leads Mulder there and they both return after dark to hop a fence and sneak in. Our Mulder has changed so much over seven years. At the beginning of the episode he said he just wanted it to end, to find his sister, and by the end he accepts her fate and moves forward. It's Harold who refuses to believe.

To add humor to a heavy episode like this, and also to further another connection to Lost, I think Lost got it's awful "flashback toupee" from The X-Files. Maybe they even bought it from one of those celebrity prop online auctions.

As for the conclusion to the Samantha storyline, I really don't see another way it could end. The events of Season 6's "One Son" spell out her fate without implicitly stating, that she was really taken by the Syndicate as a sacrifice. While Season 4's "Paper Hearts" did toy with this possibility, that she was abducted by a criminal, I think that might actually be cheating the fans in the end if that's what actually happened. That would be the ultimate bait and switch- "we've told you this happened all along, but nope, just some random murderer did it." Instead, while it wasn't aliens, being abducted by the series' true villain serves the series and it's fans much better. The Smoking Man confronting Scully even foreshadows an upcoming episode of this season, "En Ami", written by the Smoking man himself- William B. Davis. That episode was probably in scripting stages while this episode was created, so I'm sure Carter added this scene to set the stage for further events. Too bad that forward thinking was happening less and less over the years.

The only fault with "Closure" could be the "star dust/starlight" theory, especially since Samantha was taken into starlight after all of this testing at the April Air Force Base. Why not take her sooner? I don't find this 'gimmick' to be offensive though, since it allows Mulder to finally see his sister almost 30 years later when she appears with the starlight children. And isn't there a theory, the Big Bang Theory (not the tv show), that we were created from star dust? Nothing is out of the realm of possibility on The X-Files. During Season 5's "Redux" episodes, I even said I liked the smaller, more personal episodes and if anything, Season 7 has been a return to those episodes. Maybe there was forward thinking from Chris Carter after all. If Season 6 is when they "blew it up", then it makes sense for Season 7 to return to being about the core characters. Mulder was even watching Planet Of The Apes... "you blew it up, you maniacs!!"

"Sein Und Zeit"

"I've been looking for my sister in the wrong place. That's...what my mother was trying to tell me."
Originally Aired 2/6/99

I'm not entirely certain how I feel about this episode yet. For being a serious tale about a child abduction which takes a page out of the JonBenet Ramsey case from the mid-90's, it starts out on a bizarre "meta" note and took me out of the episode. Mark Ralston (famous for roles in 80's action sequels Aliens, RoboCop 2, and Lethal Weapon 2) is seated on a couch and is watching a Chris Carter television series within another Chris Carter television series. I wondered why an actor with some credibility like that would mostly be featured in a scene where he says he enjoyed a TV program, when it dawned on me that he was actually in an episode of that other Chris Carter series, Harsh Realm. Maybe they signed him for a two-for-one special. The other weird meta reference is that the man hired to be his lawyer is named Harry Bring, which in real life is actually the name of a producer of The X-Files. Maybe not nearly as witty and as self-referential as "Jose Chung's 'From Outer Space'" or an episode of Buffy The Vampire Slayer, but it's still strange to throw in multiple references within a dramatic episode of the mythology (which will be revealed later.) Scully even paraphrases a line from Dr. Zaius in the Planet Of The Apes, when she says "don't go looking for something you don't want to find" to increase the number of references.

I do like how this doesn't appear to be a typical hour of the series' mythology. In fact, it's more like Season 4's "Paper Hearts", when Mulder was investigating a child abductor and personalizing the case. Mulder begged Skinner to be on the case and travels across the country to California, to which he has to report back to Skinner by noon, and seems like a really short time frame to accomplish all of that traveling, investigating, and reporting. An even bigger mystery is how he discovered this case so quickly without assistance from Deep Throat or another informant sliding files underneath his door. Not only does he travel quickly from one side of the country to the other, he also makes a pit-stop to a women's prison in Idaho. I guess this was also back in a pre-9/11 world when air travel was easier. I had a similar thought when traveling by train for the first time in December, as the whole experience was very light on security as opposed to the security check points and regulations when flying on a plane.

What makes this episode more than just a typical standalone investigation is a brief appearance from Mrs. Mulder, who I believe was last seen in Season 4. I don't think she even appeared at all during Season 6's "One Son", not even in the flashback sequence that featured Bill Mulder. This proves that Mulder wasn't grasping at straws when linking the case to his sister because his mom was doing the same thing. Whatever the connection may be is not known, yet it was great enough for her to burn photographs and commit suicide. I dug the scene where Mulder comes to the conclusion that his mom was killed by the remaining members of the Syndicate, since he's lost so many loved ones that he can't bear to lose her too. His mom always appeared so cold and even slapped him during one of her appearances, yet it's still his own mother. I think his mom even appeared in that Season 4 episode, "Paper Hearts", just like she does in this episode. If this week's episode is referencing the tone of "Paper Hearts" (there's even a photo the Cigarette Smoking Man had in Season 5!), last week's episode felt like one from Season Two, and "The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati" felt a little like a reversal on "One Breath" with Mulder in a hospital instead of Scully, then they might as well draw from the best of the early years if they're going to be borrowing past storylines. Maybe I'm just drawing my own conclusions and believing there are connections like Mulder does on this case, and I could be wrong, but I want to believe it's that Chris Carter is trying to bring the story of Samantha full-circle. But if so, I'd prefer they went the route that could've been taken in Season 5- that Samantha is still alive and held prisoner by the Syndicate. Maybe not a "prisoner" in that she's in a jail cell or a salt mine, but similar to the Stockholm (Helsinki") Syndrome and she was brain-washed by the Smoking Man. It's just my personal preference though, since storyline-wise it makes no sense, because Smokey's "end game" was using Spender as an inside man against Mulder. If he had Samantha all along, he could've went that route instead and had easily won the battle over Mulder long ago.

As for the episode itself, the common thread that Mulder discovers is a line in a ransom note that read, "No one shoots at Santa Claus." It's revelation that some guy is using his Santa's Village disguise to videotape, and then later abduct, children is uber creepy. Even worse than Donnie Pfaster in his underwear in "Orison." After watching this episode again and completing this review, I've come to the conclusion that not only do I enjoy this episode, but it's the most solid effort of the first half of Season 7. I'd place "Sixth Extinction" and "Hungry" just behind it. The best thing of the entire episode might the name given to a character which is called "World-Weary Dad"; where the heck does Chris Carter come up with these names?! I'm looking forward to the conclusion of this two-parter in next week's "Closure" and also the rest of February. All four episodes this month are "new" to me, and not only that, but "X-Cops" is one I must watch with my grandma since she's mentioned it a few times over the years that I've been watching the series in order. Following February, only four more new episodes will remain this season.

"Signs & Wonders"

"You're saying that you, Fox Mulder, would welcome someone telling you what to believe?"
Originally Aired 1/23/00

It never fails. No matter how long or short the season is, I always fall behind by this time of year. I even lost track of more time than I realized, as this episode aired two weeks ago; not last week as I was originally thinking. I suppose that makes sense because The X-Files aired Sundays and last weekend was the Super Bowl. No one is going head to head with that ratings juggernaut.

As for "Signs & Wonders" its another 'back to basics' horror story. Season 7 seems to be stuck in that groove of an episode that tries to push the boundaries like a Season 6 episode, but then it's followed up by a return to the "catch the monster" flavor of the early years. I feel like The X-Files is unsure of what it wants to be- capture our imagination with inventive stories or thrill us with things that go bump in the night, and I'm sure that the rest of Season 7 will be the same way. At least we're back to Mulder's office as he presents her with the case file- a man was bitten by 50 snakes! Eegads! (not to be confused with Ee-gah, for the one person who might get that reference.) With that, Mulder and Scully are off to Tennessee, and in a stretch by the writers to work in the episode's title, the Church of God with Signs & Wonders. Why not just "The Church of Signs Wonders"? Otherwise, it's a mouthful. There's another church within the community, just like every town in America has multiple churches, and while both believe in the same God, they have radical differences. There's even a sequence that highlights the differences- both are preaching the same Bible passage, that god hates the lukewarm. The snake charmer church preacher is doing the typical "Praise the Lord!" televangelist routine and shouts that "God wants you on fire!", while the church across town is actually being treated to a rather luke-warm reading of the Bible. The choice in editing here is superb as it cuts back and forth several times between both churches.

The real villain of "Signs & Wonders" is this lady's hair!

There are a few recognizable faces this hour. The girlfriend of the deceased has played crazy chicks on other Fox Network dramas- Millennium and Beverly Hills 90210- yet she's mostly tame in "Signs & Wonders". I believe her name is Tracy Middendorf. Her father, the Reverend Enoch O'Connor, actually is crazy and he's played chillingly by Michaels Childers. While he's not a recognizable face, he does remind me a lot of a real-life Dale Gribble from King Of The Hill, though in appearance only. The other notable face is Beth Grant, playing the church-going Iris Finster, whom I recall seeing in the overrated movie Donnie Darko and the underrated TV series Yes, Dear.

The snakes are a neat gimmick, like the snake crawling out of a sink, though I'm left feeling like this is a more serious version of Season Two's "Die Hand Die Verletzt." The baddie shows up, "raises hell", and then leaves without a trace. There's even an incest element in both episodes, which both are eventually revealed to hold no truth. Another similarity in both episodes is that a father is visited by a snake while in captivity- in "Die Hand Die Verletzt" it was a snake attack in a basement; "Signs & Wonders" is a reptile in a jail cell. I prefer the former episode over this entry into the series, and it's a "wonder" what happened with Jeffrey Bell's script. In Season 6 as in this current season, his first entry is a whimsical, almost fairy tale-styled entry, only to be followed up by a serious monster tale. I guess both of these monster episodes, "Signs & Wonders" and Season 6's "Alpha", feature a monster that is more than meets the eye, so there is a common thread shared by these episodes. I just feel like something was lost in translation. And it's never a good "sign" of an episode's quality when I'm hard-pressed to find a quote to feature for my review. At least February should improve the quality of this season

"The Amazing Maleeni"

"Young man, shall I come heckle you on your job? Make sure you count out the requisite number of McNuggets?"
Originally Aired 1/16/00

At the beginning of this episode, a character was asked if he was "ready to rumble?" It reminded me of a recent email I received through my account at my place of employment- a radio station, which is that we're not allowed to use that catch phrase without consent from Michael Buffer. Maybe FOX allowed The X-Files to use it since it's a varation on the phrase and didn't include the beginning portion, which actually is more of a command- "let's get ready to rumble", than it is a question.

Nonetheless, this episode actually turned out to be a fine, little mystery involving magic, without any elements of the paranormal to be found. I expected it to be funny and at least mildly entertaining since it comes from the trio of writers, John Shiban, Frank Spotnitz, and Vince Gilligan, who are credited with "Leonard Betts" and "Dreamland". I feel like magic and magicians is a hard concept and this is probably the best they could do, even with Vince Gilligan attached. Honestly though, it's not the script that is lacking this time, it's the casting choices. While they went with real magicians (Ricky Jay as Maleeni and Johnathan Levit as Billy LaBonge) and it does add a sense of realism to "The Amazing Maleeni", the comedic tone doesn't seem to hit the mark that it should. It's not just the magicians, even this week's supporting cast seems flat. Despite that, David Duchovny seems like he's having fun even though he's again taking a backseat to this week's guest cast. There really hasn't been much meat for David and Gillian this season outside the "Sixth Extinction" pair of episodes, though this is likely the most fun they've had in an episode all year.

Despite Ricky Jay's acting talents, I found the character of "The Amazing Maleeni", or rather Herman Pinchbeck, to be another in a long line of relatable X-Files guest characters. His speech to Mulder and Scully reminded me so much of Vince Gilligan's previous creation, Eddie Van Blundht. I read that Frank Spotnitz had championed the idea of a "magic" episode for the series for several years, but much of the humor seems to be from the mind of Vince. I wonder if that left John Shiban's contribution to be the twist-filled bank robbery plot? He did pen one of my favorites, "The Pine Bluff Variant", which had an equal amount of turns in it's 45 minute run time.

Several episodes in the early years of The X-Files felt like they borrowed from episodes of The Outer Limits and Kolchak The Night Stalker, but this week's episode feels too much like that recent movie Now You See Me. That was my least favorite of 2013, and among the worst that I've paid money for a ticket to see. Actually, I think it is nearly beat for beat, the same story as it revolves around stolen cash and a revenge plot. The FBI even allows the criminals to "get away" with their tricks and misdeeds. In Now You See Me everything was spelled out and removed all mystery, and it even happens here when Mulder finally reveals all of their tricks and slight of hand, but at least he's ahead of the game and wasn't the one that needed everything explained. Well, he did say he's The Great Muldini, which could've worked as a possible episode title, too.

I felt this would be a strong contender for "best of the season" if it weren't for the one liners falling flat. Next week is one I've watched years ago, but I'm looking forward to what February has to offer, since all four are "brand new" episodes- "Sein Und Zeit", "Closure", "X-Cops", and "First Person Shooter."