"Agua Mala"

"Yes, I'm curious, Mulder, but I'm also suspicious I think that Mr. Dales' story is fueled more by his imagination and not much deeper than the bottom of a highball."
Originally Aired 2/21/99

And so ends The X-Files twenty-three episode streak of excellence which began with "Chinga" on February 8, 1998. That was the creative peak of The X-Files and it was an amazing year that included the faceless alien rebels, one of the most beloved fan favorites called "Bad Blood", Michael McKean's guest role as "Morris Fletcher", the demise of the Syndicate, and even the feature film Fight the Future. I just realized that sounds like I am eulogizing the series. I'm not, yet it's always a bit strange how the series follows up a big two-part conspiracy thriller with a "status quo" episode that makes no mention of the Earth-shaking events from the previous week. There's no mention of Jeffrey Spender's whereabouts and Scully seems perfectly fine with Mulder nearly turning to the dark side and choosing Diana Fowley over her.

I enjoyed Season Five's approach to following the huge mythology episodes, which is that they didn't follow-up at all. They did the complete opposite and featured "flashback" stories about the beginnings of The X-Files. "Usual Suspects" was an episode that told the backstory of the Lone Gunmen and how they came to meet Agent Mulder. "Travelers" went back even further and told how Mulder learned of The X-Files and who originally worked on these "unsolved cases." The "father of The X-Files" was Agent Arthur Dales and he was portrayed in a later version of the character by Darren McGavin. The actor is most famous for the movie A Christmas Story but it was his TV character of Kolchak that actually served as a partial inspiration for The X-Files TV series. His presence lifts the episode somewhat above being a stinker, though it's odd that he appears here of all places.

Another factor that gives this episode a boost is Gillian Anderson. She always brings a fiery intensity to her role of Agent Scully and "Agua Mala" is no different. I've noticed that if an episode is on a one-way ticket to Dullsville, Scully is more likely to salvage it than Mulder. Sure, Mulder is the reigning king of one-liners, but Scully's manner of shooting down his theories with the greatest of ease is often a thing of beauty. Her make-shift operation in this episode was pretty neat, too.

I usually try to find something enjoyable in every episode of The X-Files, which in "Agua Mala" are Scully and Arthur Dales, though I'm not sure they turned this into a classic episode. While it is a return to form with a "monster-of-the-week" and the monster does have unique look to it (it reminded me of a face hugger in Aliens), this dud of a script is a lot to overcome for even the best of actors. It's set in Florida during a hurricane, with Mulder and Scully investigating a disappearance at the request of Mr. Dales. During the episode Scully informs Mulder that the airport is closing due to the weather and I'm honestly surprised they were even able to arrive in Florida in the first place. I know Mulder can fly off to faraway places like Russia on a whim and I'll go along with it for the sake of good drama, but this does not match the intensity of "Tunguska" nor "Piper Maru." There's even a lot of traveling for them by car, as they travel from Dales' residence to the site of the disappearance and off to an apartment complex for the bulk of the episode. I think this episode needed another revision to its script that could have combined this into one location. It might have made slightly more sense if the family that disappeared were also in this apartment complex, maybe even Dales too, then actually teaming with the agents could have justified his appearance in another standalone episode. The cast of characters housed in this apartment complex aren't the most "complex" of characters, though I did kind of enjoy the radical, gun nut guy. I've read other X-Files reviewers state that the guest stars in this episode are stereotypical, though maybe they actually haven't spent much time in Florida. I think these are exactly the types of folks you'd encounter in Florida, especially if you've ever head of the segment called "Germany or Florida?" on the radio program, Loveline. All the nuts really do roll down to Florida.

"One Son"

"I ordered them, yes, but it was never my intention to harm you. It was to save you...and Jeffrey."
Originally Aired 2/14/99

Last week I had proclaimed I was at the zenith of The X-Files before I sat down to watch "Two Fathers." I said that because Season 5 was the most watched season of the series, ranking 11th overall that year, but also because it was a very creative period. While there were several hilarious comedies and tense thrillers in past seasons, this time they were going above and beyond with concepts like a Frankenstein monster, an episode filmed in black and white, and even an episode based solely on an occasionally-seen trio of secondary characters. The current season has taken even greater risks by removing Mulder and Scully from the X-Files office, presenting new ways to investigate the paranormal through anonymous tips and TV newscasts.

While I knew the series will suffer a slight decline in the coming seasons, I did not expect to enjoy "One Son" less than "Two Fathers." I wouldn't say "One Son" failed to live up to expectations, because I knew many details just as I did with "Two Fathers." I feel like parts of this episode were unnecessary and even rushed, also too much reliance on running up and down corridors and back and forth between two military bases. One of the plot threads running throughout this hour is the return of an item from the first season's finale, "The Erlenmeyer Flask", which is an alien frozen in a lab at Fort Marlene. It's origin is finally revealed, which is that it was offered by the aliens as part of their collaboration with the Syndicate. That group of men each offered up a member of his own family and in return the aliens handed over this alien fetus. While I love references to past episodes, especially when events come around full-circle, I think Chris Carter failed to remember his own ending to "The Erlenmeyer Flask." The alien fetus wasn't returned to Fort Marlene, instead it was taken by the Cigarette-Smoking Man to that vault within the Pentagon. Perhaps there is more than one alien fetus since that one in the Pentagon likely thawed out and spoiled.

The use of the fetus from Season One adds more dramatic weight, or possibly confusion, to Deep Throat's actions in "The Erlenmeyer Flask." In that episode, Mulder was taken prisoner by men in black, likely operatives working for the Smoking Man, and Deep Throat instructed Scully to trade the object for Mulder's life. It cost him his own life when they exchanged this fetus for Mulder. Deep Throat had to know just how valuable this fetus is since it's tissue has been used in experiments dating back to the early 1970's. It was never realized exactly what his role in the conspiracy was, although now it seems like he had turned his back on the Syndicate and possibly aided Mulder to atone for his part in their dastardly deeds. But he had to know his punishment would be death for stealing from the bad guys, just to give their science experiment back to them as bait. Seems to me that Deep Throat willingly gave his life for Fox Mulder.

Another revelation with "One Son" is the role that Bill Mulder played. As this episode seeks to come full circle with Season One's finale, it actually does a better job at doing the same with the Season Two finale, "Anasazi." It shocked me to learn so early in the series that Bill Mulder knew the Smoking Man, but before we could learn anything about their history, Krycek shot him dead in his bathroom. All that was said was a cryptic warning from father to son that he would come to learn things. I always thought it would make more sense that Fox, rather than Samantha, would have been offered as a test in these experiments since he is not Bill's biological child. Here we learn that Samantha was the fateful child because Fox being spared meant that Bill's legacy could continue with Fox carrying the torch and seeking the truth. Bill Mulder dying meant that another had to be sacrificed for Fox Mulder's quest.

Jeffrey Spender is a character I liked the from the start, though it was more out of amusement from his lines like "flying motherwheel" when insulting Mulder's belief in aliens and U.F.O.'s. "Two Fathers" was a turning point because he came to realize how he was being manipulated by his father and added another dimension to his character when he wanted to undo the damage he has caused. Though he had a much larger role in "Two Fathers", he still has a presence in this week's episode. I hate the character met a tragic end just as he was on the verge of becoming a crucial ally to Mulder's crusade, in fact it even feels like somewhat of a cop out because Carter can't go one mythology arc without killing someone. Bill Mulder, Melissa Scully, X, Agent Pendrell, The Smoking Man (although he returned), The Well-Manicured Man, and now Jeffrey Spender is among them. Although Spender's death does fit the story being told here, which tells of the legacy of Bill Mulder and the Cigarette Smoking Man. Bill's legacy lives on in his son and he was sacrificed to ensure it continues, while CSM has valued his legacy more than he valued family, so he sacrificed them. Whether he assassinated political figures or not, he does have an extremely high opinion of himself, so it doesn't seem out of the realm of possibility to add more deaths to his already high body count. I just want to know how many have to die for Mulder's quest.

The centerpiece that this whole hour revives around, and I feel this episode lives or dies on it, is a confrontation between Fox Mulder and the man we now know as C.G.B. Spender. Mulder held a gun to the Smoking Man before in Season Two, possibly another reference to the past, but this time feels like a mistake by the writers. They were trying to create the illusion that Mulder could be lead astray by the Smoking Man, finally deceived into joining his cause and preserving his legacy. I feel this is the wrong time to tease a new wrinkle, not just because it had been done before (in Season Five's "Redux II"), but because everything is rushing towards the confrontation between the Syndicate and aliens. This occupies a large portion of the episode, leaving the remaining characters of Krycek, Spender, and Marita Covarrubious to rush around the previously mentioned corridors. I feel like this confrontation should have been saved for the next mythology installment with Mulder vowing to make CSM pay for his sins that resulted in the deaths of men, women, and children. Then CSM can plead his case, in an attempt to deceive Mulder and guilt him into joining his cause, which would have been a great cliffhanger to end the season. Instead, the writers take a detour mid-episode and tried to tear Mulder and Scully apart, when they should have been closer than ever at this point in the series. Many previous episodes this season have flirted with a possible relationship, such as their "kiss" in "Triangle." If the writers are going to tease dividing Mulder and Scully, with Mulder joining the Cigarette-Smoking Man, it should have been given a full episode or more devoted to it, rather than being a subplot. It could have even made more sense here had they planted a few seeds in "Two Fathers".

Perhaps the best part of this entire episode is a scene near the end. We've known for years that the Smoking Man is only working for this own interests, which actually makes him more like Krycek than he would like to believe, so it's almost comedic when he sneaks away as the Syndicate is about to become toasty bar-be-que. Forget the "almost" part! It *is* funny how they sneak away with a slow tip toe, then it turns to a mad dash towards their car. It's strange how we never see Mulder and Scully arrive at the Air Force base where the Syndicate depart the series for good; they're too late to the party. It would have made for a funny deleted scene had Mulder and Scully passed CSM and Diana Fowley on the highway as they were sneaking away from the base. Actually, scratch that deleted scene idea, that's how it should have went down since the writers included CSM's attempt to dupe Mulder into joining him. That would have been a chilling way for Mulder to realize he nearly had the wool pulled over his eyes by CSM and Fowley.

As for the other characters, I was glad that Jeffrey Spender went out as somewhat of a hero, with his attempt to save Marita from Fort Marlene, whom we haven't seen since the middle of Season Five. Although I wish that Krycek had actually snuck away with the fetus since it seemed like he still had his own agenda while working alongside the Syndicate. In summary, "One Son" is a fitting ending for the Syndicate, though its a somewhat flawed episode as a whole.

"Two Fathers"

"I'll be my own great man."
Originally Aired 2/7/99

For the better part of the past five years, The X-Files has been weaving a web of events involving abductions, small pox vaccinations, alien bounty hunters, and a Cigarette Smoking Man. At times, it even felt like the weight of all of these events would come toppling down like a house of cards. I felt like other than the revelation that Scully's mysterious abduction two years prior had given her cancer, that many of the new wrinkles in the Fourth Season were almost going to cause that toppling to occur. These fantastical events were getting too far out there as they spent much time on clones of Mulder's sister, black oil, and bees. However, the following season brought this mysterious conspiracy back on track with a new direction, one that would now be revealed as it's final act.

This final act introduced a new enemy in the two-part story, "Patient X" and "The Red and The Black", and also revealed the purpose for the mysterious black oil. This new, and also faceless, enemy is a race of aliens much like the shape-shifting bounty hunters. However they have sealed their faces with scars so that the black oil cannot infect them. They oppose the colonization of Earth and are sabotaging the work of the Cigarette Smoking Man and his mysterious partners in the Syndicate. This new episode, "Two Fathers", reveals a key detail of the black oil which is that it has a name, "Purity." In an early episode titled "The Erlenmeyer Flask", Mulder and Scully discovered a flask which was actually titled, "Purity Control." The seeds for the black oil were actually planted long before it was ever introduced to us in the Third Season, with "Purity Control" acting as vaccine to the alien life form.

Another key development in Season Five was the introduction of an FBI agent named Jeffrey Spender along with his mother, Cassandra. She claimed to be a multiple abductee while her son dismissed her stories and warned Mulder to stay away from her. Spender and Mulder were instantly at odds and it intensified once Cassandra disappeared again. In the events leading up to "Two Fathers", the Cigarette-Smoking Man met in shadows with Spender, much like Deep Throat (and later X) mentored Mulder, and manipulated Spender into taking over the X-Files and forcing Mulder and Scully out of the FBI. Thus far, the episodes in Season Six have shown Mulder and Scully stumbling upon X-Files cases in unconventional ways, with Mulder even becoming an "X-File" himself when he switched bodies with a Man in Black from Area 51. The real X-Files unit, Jeffrey Spender and his partner Diana Fowley, were only shown together once in a single scene in "The Beginning." My wish was that Spender would have been forced into investigating an X-Files case, and now that's finally happening here in "Two Fathers." While this episode is narrated by the Cigarette Smoking Man as he tells of his life's work, it actually paints Jeffrey Spender in a sympathetic light.

At times it does feel like all of these extraterrestrial enemies and man-made experiments are a bit hard to swallow, especially when characters talk about shape-shifting aliens with a straight face, but what makes it easily digestible are compelling characters. There's Fox Mulder, who lost his sister at a young age, and through his work on the X-Files he's learned that there was something more sinister than aliens taking her. He also lost his father, as did Scully, an event that brought them closer than any partnership could. Dana Scully was originally used as pawn of the Smoking Man as she was "sent to spy" on Mulder's work, though the two formed a partnership built on mutual respect. Their boss Assistant Director Walter Skinner was also a pawn, though he found ways around just being an authority figure and helped the agents at crucial moments and even risked his life. Alex Krycek, initially an FBI agent, and later a rogue agent, now works for the Cigarette Smoking Man as part of the project. This episode shows the most character development for Alex since his introduction in Season Two, though most of that unfortunately turned up in the "Deleted Scenes" file. I really hate how a short moment between Krycek and CSM wound up being deleted from what was promoted as "full disclosure" episode. Surely if The X-Files was the powerhouse series that it was for FOX, they could have allowed a full 45 minutes for the episode. I just hate how sometimes the episodes are 45 minutes, some are 44, even 43, and that inconsistency means that a great scene must suffer on the cutting room floor. Back to the actual content of "Two Fathers", Krycek always pops up at the most opportune time to reveal key pieces of information but he never actually feels like a truly fleshed out character.

While the Cigarette Smoking Man has tried and failed with many pawns, the biggest and most personal is his own son. Jeffrey Spender isn't much different than his rival Fox Mulder, in fact they are very similar. Both men lost a family member at an early age- the abduction of Mulder's sister tore his family apart, while Jeffrey's father abandoned his family. Both Spender and Mulder went through hypnosis therapy with Doctor Werber, though Jeffrey's were lies and Mulder never knew what was truth or a lie. The events surrounding Mulder's sister is what pushed him towards a belief in extraterrestrials and the paranormal, while Jeffrey saw the impact it had on his mother and he rejected any belief. Had Jeffrey not rejected such beliefs, perhaps they could have been great allies. Instead, Jeffrey had left himself wide open to being manipulated by the Cigarette Smoking Man. Don't forget that Mulder's pursuit of the truth often left himself open to being manipulated at times by X, Diana Fowley, Krycek, Marita Covarrubius, and even Deep Throat in "E.B.E." Everyone seemingly rejects Jeffrey during the course of "Two Fathers", from Skinner and the Smoking Man, to even his own mother when she'd rather speak with Fox Mulder. Jeffrey finally learns the truth about aliens, and even his own father, when he's forced into participating in the death of one of the rebels. With all of the past events merging in "Two Fathers", from the mention of the black oil to the return of the train car experiments, I was hoping Krycek would have referred to the Cigarette Smoking Man as an "extraordinary man" instead of "great man." However, the revelations of the Cigarette Smoking Man's history and that he has many aliases, do lend more credibility to the previous tale of his background in the Fourth Season's "Musings of a Cigarette Smoking Man."

While I knew of many of these events already before viewing "Two Fathers", it's a testament to how great the series is when I can watch it unfold and still see new developments. I didn't know Jeffrey would learn of his father's past deeds in this episode and even that Krycek would be the source of such information. I suppose the Smoking Man can only reject Krycek so many times before it finally bites himon the ass; I'm referring to the deleted scene in which Krycek is coldly rejected when he offered to be the Smoking Man's true protege. The only flaw I can find in this episode is that the Syndicate's ultimate weapon and the source of all answers to alien life is Cassandra Spender. I thought we were supposed to believe that Gibson Praise was the true alien-human hybrid? No matter who the true hybrid is, I still found "Two Fathers" to be wholly entertaining and filled with unique moments that only this series can deliver. With the events surrounding the Spender Family, it felt more like a Greek Tragedy with aliens than just another conspiracy thriller.

X-Files Rerun "Die Hand Die Verletzt"

"Better hide your Megadeth albums."
Originally Aired 1/27/95

I love Morgan & Wong's episodes. Well, most of them; I can never quite get into their last episode. At the time this episode aired in Season Two, it was to be their last entry for the series as they were moving on to create their own, Space: Above And Beyond. It didn't quite pan out for the duo so they returned to The X-Files for its Fourth Season. I'm actually glad they returned and didn't end their run with "Die Hand Die Verletzt."

This episode isn't as bad as the previous crop in Season Two, in fact it's not a terrible episode either. I just had a few gripes that overshadow the good moments in the episode. The highlight of the episode is a giant python devouring a man whole. Just the way the entire sequence is staged, from the moment Mulder hand cuffs a member of the PTA in his dark, dingy basement, it's obvious he'll meet a gruesome end.

Where the episode lost me was the subplot in which that member of the PTA, Jim Ausbury (Dan Butler, whom I remember as "Bulldog" on Frasier), is accused of illicit behavior by his step daughter. The monologue, where the daughter explains her memories of the incident to Mulder and Scully, is brutal. It's one of the hardest sequences to watch in the entire series, from the dialogue to the acting. It pulls me right out of the episode and the worst part is that I have to sit through it a few more times while I compose this review. Before and after that sequence "Die Hand Die Verletzt" is darkly comical and I think it really ruins the flow of the episode.

Besides the darkly comic moments, such as the satanic PTA, there are also several moments that I found were unintentionally hilarious. The best of these would be when Mulder is questioning Mr. Ausbury at his home and he shatters a cup with his hand. "Did you do it?" KA-POW! That's some guilty conscience! Another moment isn't as funny, but the new substitute teacher is revealed as the killer when she opens her desk drawer and inside are the eyes and heart from a student. Then she sets a stack of graded papers right on top, yuck!

The episode is also saved by it's chaotic finale. After Jim is introduced to the teacher's pet, then Mulder and Scully are attacked so they can be used as a sacrifice by the PTA. If it wasn't for the middle portion of this episode, I'd likely rank this among Morgan & Wong's top episodes. Viewing it as is, I'm just going to call it a "misfire."

X-Files Rerun "Irresistible"

Warning: This is episode is too creepy for a comedic quote.
Originally Aired 1/13/95

This is one episode that I had to watch with the lights turned off and zero distractions; no clothes drying in the other room, no cellphone nor computer. "Irresistible" deserved my full attention and for the entire duration of it's chilling forty-five minutes, I was simultaneously impressed and creeped out. I'm actually at the perfect moment to rewatch "Irresistible" because I had just been questioning why it is I ranked Season Two as my favorite for so long. As I'm currently making my way through several "new" episodes in Season Six, the significance of Season Two has been dulled so that I could only recall loving the Flukeman in "The Host", Krycek's betrayal, Scully's abduction, and the emergence of the shadowy Syndicate in "Anasazi". However, "Irresistible" reminded just how original The X-Files was in a time before they decided to break the mold with body swapping and a lovelorn weatherman.

Leave it to series creator Chris Carter to not only bring the series out of its slump, but also to slap you across the face with what is arguably the creepiest, and best, standalone episode to date. The mold I mentioned that was broken in later seasons was simply a formula in which Mulder and Scully were introduced to a case by local law enforcement. These local law men were always at odds with Mulder and Scully, well, mostly Mulder and his unconventional methods. This episode is already turning that formula on its head when it is he who suggests extraterrestrial involvement, and also name drops MUFON to Agent Mulder. I can only recall one previous mention of that group, which was in "Fallen Angel"; perhaps that was NICAP on Max Fenig's baseball cap. (I could also just be referring to my future knowledge of MUFON for the role it played in Scully's cancer arc.) The local lawman is actually an FBI Agent named Moe Bocks, whom I wish we had seen more of on the series in some capacity. I usually try to find a funny quote from either Mulder and Scully to go along with each episode, yet there is nothing funny from either character in this episode. Perhaps that's why Agent Bocks was somewhat eccentric, to offset the dark story that's being told.

Not only does the local FBI play a role in this story, Mulder's profiling knowledge comes into play as well. It is actually a crucial part of his character, for that is the reason he was originally an FBI agent, though it doesn't seem to be utilized as much as it could have been throughout the series. While Mulder's profiling work leads them in the direction of the killer, this is actually a Scully-centric episode, meaning that Gillian Anderson is given plenty of time to shine. It is notable for being a spiritual follow-up to her abduction in "Ascension", which has only been mentioned casually in recent episodes.

That leads me to this episode's villain named Donnie Pfaster, a man who could possibly make Norman Bates' skin crawl. Norman at least had taxidermy as a hobby and filled his rooms with stuffed birds, which could make him seem somewhat less creepy, while Donnie doesn't even attempt to hide his madness. His bedroom is filled with wreaths of wilting flowers that are stolen from funeral home floral arrangements. I'm sure he also kept a jar full of finger nail clippings and hair that was cut from deceased people that came through the funeral home. The episode's director David Nutter did a marvelous job of heightening Donnie's creep factor by keeping him partially hidden in shadows and also by putting him out of focus behind Scully during a crucial scene.

It is said that Darin Morgan is a man responsible for stretching the boundaries of the series with the darkly comedic "Humbug", however it seems like you could also make a case for "Irresistible" being equally ground-breaking. If the episodes of the series weren't dealing with a government cover-up, then there was a paranormal element to each episode, whether it was ghosts, creepy worms, or a precognitive ability. Donnie Pfaster was an evil human being that was just that, pure evil. It opened the doors for later creeps like John Lee Roche, Gerry Schnauz, the Peacocks; well, I guess I could just say overall dour nature of the entire Fourth Season. This episode has also been cited as the genesis for second series created by Chris Carter, Millennium. This episode could have even made a terrific feature film!

X-Files Rerun "Aubrey"

"I'd like to know why this policewoman would suddenly drive her car into a field the size of Rhode Island, and for no rhyme or reason, dig up the bones of a man who's been missing for 50 years."
Originally Aired 1/6/95

This episode is much better than the previous three episodes ("Firewalker", "Red Museum", and "Excelsis Dei"), and it's a fine attempt at trying to dig The X-Files out of its slump. Typically when it's a writer outside of the core group, it's a red flag as to the quality of the episode, but Sara B. Charno crafted a unique murder mystery; rumor has it that the script had a bit of help from Glen Morgan & James Wong.

In the titular town of Aubrey, MO, recent murders match the markings on an unearthed corpse, there's also a bit of a soap opera-like love affair, and Mulder and Scully seemingly switch roles all within this episode. I noticed the slight role reversal during this rewatch, which is something I don't believe I picked up on before. Scully's womanly intuition tells her that B.J. Morrow (Deborah Strang) is having affair with her coworker Lt. Tillman (Terry O'Quinn), which is what put her out near a motel in the middle of the night when she discovered a 50 year old body. Mulder can always pick up on subtle connections or makes great leaps of faith, yet he failed to notice something between the two detectives. We've also witnessed Scully in harms way several times, ranging from "Beyond the Sea" to the recent home invasion by Duane Barry. This is the second episode in a row that's placed Mulder in danger, which is the slight role reversal that I noted earlier.

The plot is somewhat interesting, although its not above the typical television contrivances. Those such moments would be when Mulder and Scully realize who the next victim will be just as the attempted murder is about to take place, while they also travel across town faster than humanly possible and somehow managed to avoid every traffic light along the way. The character of B.J. being revealed as the killer due to a genetic transfer from family members is an interesting wrinkle to the story, though it also seems contrived that the link is broken once the family member she inherited it from passed away. I think if the genetic material transferred to her was dormant and only triggered once she became pregnant, then I would think the link would break when the baby is removed. That could be what the writers were also hinting at when the episode ends on an eerie note with B.J. under suicide watch.

Where the story lacks, that's actually when Director Rob Bowman picks up the slack. The camera angles used by Bowman make for some neat visuals, enhanced by the series' cinematographer John Bartley. Also notable are the references to Mulder's sunflower seed habit as well as his FBI "go-to-guy" Danny. I remember not caring too much for this episode several years ago but time has been a bit kinder to "Aubrey." Or it could just appear to be better if it's viewed immediately after "Excelsis Dei."

X-Files Rerun "Excelsis Dei"

"Whatever tape you found in that V.C.R. isn't mine."
"Good, because I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours."
Originally Aired 12/16/94

It's really odd how a writer can create one of the series' finest episodes, then in a radical move, write one of the worst of the series. The former episode was "Ascension", which is one of my favorites from these early episodes. Not only was Scully gagged and stuffed into the trunk of a car by Duane Barry, but she was also abducted by aliens (according to Duane), Mulder realized his new partner was a traitor, and the once-closed X-Files division was re-opened by Assistant Director Skinner. "Excelsis Dei" is not "Ascension"; it's possibly even duller than Season One's "Space." I feel like uttering the same noise that Sideshow Bob made on The Simpsons when he was smacked in the face over and over by rakes.

Although this could possibly the scariest episode of the series. I say that because not many people are scared of things like mutant sewer worms, yet many are scared of getting old. I know when I am a senior citizen I don't want to be so disabled that I need care around the clock; I'd prefer not to be a burden to anyone. I'm not even sure what's worse- losing my sight so I wouldn't be able watch my precious X-Files episodes or losing the ability to hear the music I love. Many things could happen to me by the time I get old. Watching this episode with elderly people who are disrespected and mistreated sure isn't making those fears subside.

There isn't very much to say that's positive about this episode with exception to a few scenes near the beginning. The first is when Scully and Mulder make reference to Mulder's pornography collection that is a humorous running gag in the series; then later when an elderly man flashes his "plumbing" to Mulder and Scully. To his credit, at least the writer, Paul Brown, was able to get the character traits correctly.